There’s a lot people don’t know about raising children until they’re in the thick of it. As these 18 kids prove, parenting can be a dangerous business!
To put it lightly, kids can be real monsters. And I’m not just talking about epic temper tantrums or random crying. They’re also capable of some seriously dangerous behavior, often with hilarious results. Just remember, it’s all fun and games until you’re the dad getting kicked in the privates or the mom taking a foot to the face!
1. From day one, it can seem like kids just want to watch the world burn.
2. Of course, there’s always the usual projectile vomiting…
3. …and random peeing! Nice shot, baby.
4. But as they grow, things get a LOT more dangerous. Take this dad who got a DVD to the face on Christmas morning, for instance.
5. Or this guy who got poked in the eye with a drumstick! So much for your rock star career, sweetie.
6. That said, if you teach your kid how to towel whip people, you shouldn’t be surprised when their first victim is you.
7. Seriously, what was he thinking? This was never going to end well.
8. Toddlers, in particular, are dangerous creatures. They’re on a secret mission to hit Dad where the sun don’t shine.
9. This little girl planned her attack carefully. Just look at her sister’s gleeful smile! Pure evil.
10. Most dads never see it coming. One minute you’re dancing, the next — BAM!
11. A lot of these incidents can be chalked up to accidents, but this boy is a savage.
12. Dads certainly take a beating, but it happens to moms, too.
13. Rule one is to never get in the way of your child dancing. Failure to comply can lead to a split cheek.
14. Rule two is to just accept the fact that you’re going to get kicked in the face — a lot.
15. The danger isn’t always physical, though. This cutie nearly got her dad arrested when she told her teachers about all the “weed” at her house.
16. Ah, yes. The infamous Cheeto attack…or, as I like to call it, “Cheetogate.”
17. If you think the danger ends when your kids are older, guess again. This grown ass man nearly killed his mom while showing off his new shoes in Target.
18. If you’re planning to have a kid, be prepared for all kinds of attacks. Recliners, baseballs, frying pans…they can come from just about anywhere!