Christmas is the time of year when everything seems to be frosted with hope and merriment. There are always jingle bells and yule tide cheer abound. For those of us who are a little on the scrooge-y side, though, it can be a bit much.
So, if you’re looking for a little darkness to add to all the light and harmony of the season, we’ve got a treat for you: a comprehensive list of Christmas songs with a dark twist. My suggestion is to spring them on your family toward the end of your Christmas party, when everyone will be too drunk to know what’s actually going on.
1.) 12 (A creepy minor key version of 12 days of Christmas).
One of the creepiest chord progressions I’ve ever heard.
2.) Carol of the Bells (American Horror Story Version).
3.) Making Christmas (The Nightmare Before Christmas).
Nothing is more endearing than hearing a bunch of psychopaths sing about decorating for the holidays.
4.) A Mad Russian’s Christmas by Trans Siberian Orchestra.
A heavy metal tribute to Tchaikovsky’s song with decidedly the least heavy metal name, “Dance Sugar Plum Fairy.”
5.) Winter Trouble by myuu.
Sleigh bells meet church bells and marimbas dance, evoking dancing skeletons in this song that sounds like Christmas time in a graveyard.
6.) O Holy Night by BATZZ in the belfry.
A moody Christmas greeting from one of the spookiest goth music groups on the web. Best listened to while waiting for 3 Christmas spirits to haunt you.
7.) David Christmas by F*cked Up.
Canada’s premier, unfortunately named hardcore punk band does Christmas with their own stomp and circumstance.
8.) Little Drummer Machine Boy by Beck.
The popular criticism of the Little Drummer Boy song is that it’s kind of a weird choice of a gift for a baby in a manger. I would argue Beck’s take on the song is far weirder, greeting the newborn savior with bizarre robot vocal effects.
9.) Shankly Having A Wonderful Christmastime by Adebisi Shank
Irish prog-punkers Adebisi Shank give Paul McCarney’s Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime into the realm of sci-fi dystopia.
Was everyone at the party creeped out? Good. Now, continue your crusade against the joy of the holiday by starting a marathon of Christmas thrillers. Remember, the holidays can be enjoyed in a variety of ways!