Universe, meet Beryl the Brahman cow.
I know what you’re thinking. “Wow, I don’t even deserve to look upon this cuteness. I am unworthy.”
And you’re absolutely right. While we’re over here making life generally unbearable for most living things, Beryl is chillin’ in Australia just being the best. This little nugget was orphaned when her mother died just two days after she was born and she’s been through a lot.
So what does she do? She milks it. She milks her humans for all they’re worth and deserves every second of their pampering.
Here are some of her favorite activities. First and foremost, she’s really into hiding from everyone’s bullshit.
Side-eyeing is her specialty because of course it is.
Her most favorite thing in the world is getting some nice scratches while also turning her nose up at your garbage.
By the way, she’s coming inside. Just kidding, she’s a cow. Cows don’t belong inside.
WRONG. IT’S FUNNY HOW YOU THINK THAT.
Beryl loves being inside. See how she doesn’t even care about your feelings?
Here she is watching some TV. She’s also wondering where in the sweet, unholy hell her popcorn is. Humans. They’ll never learn.
She often wonders why people are so convinced she’s not a dog. They look exactly the same.
See? Definitely a dog.
Just three dogs doing dog stuff.
“Ah yes. That’s the spot, gentle peasant.”
But at the end of the day, Beryl’s favorite thing to do is subtly remind everyone that she’s better than them. Bask in her glory while she still lets you.