Weddings are supposed to be amazing celebrations of a relationship shared with friends and family, but overbearing parents can ruin them with their selfish behavior.
One woman recently learned this after getting engaged to her fiancé. When she chose her best friend — who walks with a limp due to a birth defect — as her maid of honor, she was absolutely appalled by her own mother’s reaction.
The momzilla in question actually wrote in to Slate’s Dear Prudence, or Mallory Ortberg, with her ridiculous “dilemma,” explaining that though she considered her daughter’s best friend as her own daughter…
…she didn’t want the woman walking in the procession because it “would ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding.”
Here’s what she had the nerve to write in and ask Prudence:
My 27-year-old daughter and her best friend, Katie, have been best friends since they were 4. Katie practically grew up in our house and is like a daughter to me. My daughter recently got engaged to her fiancé and announced that Katie would be the maid of honor (Katie’s boyfriend is also a good friend of my future son-in-law).
The problem is that Katie walks with a pretty severe limp due to a birth defect (not an underlying medical issue). She has no problem wearing high heels and has already been fitted for the dress, but I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter. I mentioned this to my daughter and suggested that maybe Katie could take video or hand out programs (while sitting) so she doesn’t ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding. My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect. All of the other bridesmaids will look gorgeous walking down the aisle with my daughter. Is it wrong to have her friend sit out?
Prudence was, of course, shocked at the mother’s lack of awareness about her awful behavior. Here’s what she had to say:
I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around this letter. I encourage you to reread it and to ask yourself that time-honored question, “Do I sound like a villain in a Reese Witherspoon movie?” You are, presumably, sympathetic to your own situation and are invested in making sure that you come across as reasonable and as caring as possible, and yet you have written a letter indicting yourself at every turn.
This girl is “like a daughter” to you, and yet you want to shove her to the side of your other daughter’s wedding just because she walks with a limp. Your daughter’s wedding will be perfect with Katie as a full and honored member of the bridal party. A limp is not a fly in the ointment; it’s a part of Katie’s life. It is not only wrong to have asked your daughter to consider excluding her best friend over this—it is ableist, and cruel, and it speaks to a massive failure of empathy, compassion, and grace on your part. You must and should apologize to your daughter immediately, and I encourage you to profoundly reconsider the orientation of your heart.